20 Clever Ways To Avoid The Blues If You’re Single On Valentine’s Day
Even though it’s “simply” a day like any other, the 14th of February can be charged with a lot of emotion, especially if you’re single.
Constant reminders of the fact that you’re not in a relationship are seemingly everywhere in the days leading up to a single Valentine’s Day.
Most of your partnered friends have plans that they’ve probably shared with great enthusiasm — boasting of romantic activities that involve elegant dinners, flowing wine, flowers, candy, and eventual sex as the cherry on top.
And there you are, thinking about sitting alone at home on Valentine’s Day to wallow in your Singleness — when it’s probably the last thing you really want to do.
According to the U.S. Census, 50% of Americans are single, which means even if you’ve found yourself alone on Valentine’s day, you’re at least in good company.
The truth is that you don’t need a significant other — or even a part-time lover — to rock a solo Valentine’s Day.
As you’ll find out, you’re the only person you need.
What To Do On Valentine’s Day When You’re Single
- Love Yourself Down
- Bring The Spa Home
- Cook A Romantic Dinner For One
- Order In But Make It Special
- Stay In And Read
- Journal (And Write A Love Poem To Yourself)
- Indulge In Some Horror
- Create Art (With A Twist)
- Rearrange Your Space
- Call Someone You Love
- Celebrate Your Independence Outdoors
- Embrace Laughter
- Do Something Your Ex Hates
- Dance By Yourself
- Get Out Of Dodge
- Throw Yourself Into Some DIY
- Explore A New Hobby
- Deep Clean
- Cuddle Something Furry
- Effect Change From The Outside
The best way to enjoy a Valentine’s Day for singles is with yourself — just as you are.
Try not to put too much pressure on yourself OR on the day as a whole.
I know — it’s probably the biggest “Hallmark holiday” of the year but so much of that is perpetuated by the idea that you must do something grand or romantic or meaningful on Valentine’s Day.
You don’t — not really.
The most you need to do on Valentine’s Day is be nice to yourself (but you should do that every day).
That said, there are lots of ways to enjoy February 14th alone — and come out happier for it in the end.
1. Love Yourself Down
We’re going right for your sweet spot with this one, but in my experience, masturbating is one of the best ways to spend any night (or day) — including Valentine’s Day.
There is absolutely zero shame in loving yourself down and spending some quality time alone, enjoying every pleasure that your body has to offer.
Masturbation, or bringing yourself to orgasm, is not only a great pastime, but it provides many health benefits — including raising serotonin and oxytocin levels, which reduces stress and increases relaxation.
It also helps you get out of your head and back in touch with your body.
When is the last time you lovingly caressed yourself all over, just to enjoy the feeling of it?
You don’t need a lover’s skilled hand when you’ve got two of your own.
Take more time than usual to love yourself with your favorite vibrator, male masturbator, or just your hands.
There are even tons of ways to masturbate hands-free if that’s what you’d prefer!
2. Bring The Spa Home With You
Going to the spa is the perfect way to treat yourself, get out of the house, and let your mind and body relax.
On Valentine’s Day, you could buy yourself a massage or facial and enjoy a nice, long steam session in a sauna — which is always a great option if you’re in the mood for self-care.
But the truth is that a lot of lovey-dovey couples engage in this activity together on Valentine’s Day — and you’ll likely run into some of them if you book an appointment.
Instead, book a private massage or spa treatment at home.
You’ll likely need to arrange this ahead of time, but by doing so, you can enjoy the activity in the privacy of your own home.
If you don’t have the disposable income to spend on a masseuse, stock up on some of your favorite body care products and treat yourself to your own spa day.
You can easily “fake” a sauna in your bathroom by running the shower at its highest setting and letting the room fill with steam.
Throw a handful of peppermint tea leaves (or lavender, chai, or vanilla) into the tub, and you’ve got your own private oasis to enjoy for as long as you want.
Treat yourself for Valentine’s Day — you deserve the pampering.
3. Cook Yourself A Romantic Feast For One
If you’re wondering what to do if you don’t have a valentine, few things are as nice as preparing, cooking, and enjoying a delicious meal.
If you like to cook or bake, spend Valentine’s Day trying your hand at either a familiar favorite meal you haven’t eaten in forever or a brand-new recipe you’ve been curious about.
You don’t have to share a single bite of it with your ex (or anyone else) — and you also don’t have to consider someone else’s palate when you plan the menu.
Don’t just cook a meal, however — set an entire atmosphere, as well.
Pick up some flowers from the grocery store and make the place setting at your table as romantic as possible.
Light some candles if you’ve got them, and put on your favorite music, whatever that happens to be.
This day is about loving yourself — so don’t just cook a meal and sit down at a barren table to enjoy it.
Go all out to make it truly special.
You are worth the effort.
4. Order In A Delicious Meal
If you don’t like to cook, then treat yourself and order from a restaurant you like — or even one you’ve never tried before.
Order everything that sounds good — even if it’s “too much food” — because you can always enjoy the leftovers during the coming days.
(This also means you may not have to cook for the better part of a week — a gift that will keep on giving.)
Don’t just order in and eat from a styrofoam container while sitting on your couch, however.
Make a beautiful place setting for yourself at the table, put the food on an actual plate, and enjoy the meal with reverence (and silverware).
You don’t need a partner to share a romantic dinner today — you’re too busy romancing yourself.
5. Stay In And Read
I’ve personally found that getting lost in a great novel is like transporting yourself to a new world.
It is one of my favorite pastimes — any day of the year.
Reading a good book, I can forget about my own problems while letting my mind take flight — following along with characters who not only keep me company but make me feel less alone, too.
To those who “don’t like” reading, I always say that it’s only because you haven’t found the right genre yet.
Go to the bookstore and find a book that speaks to you — it might just end up being a newfound passion.
And don’t forget about audiobooks!
If you truly don’t enjoy reading text on a page, listening to a book can be just as enjoyable and it’s a great way to explore new stories or themes you might not have ever considered.
6. Stay In And Journal
Writing down your thoughts can help you process the way you feel on Valentine’s Day, especially if you’re struggling with it.
Being single on a day that celebrates relationships can definitely be hard.
Recognize and acknowledge the feelings you’re experiencing by letting your stream-of-consciousness run free.
You could also use this as an opportunity to write a love poem (of sorts) to yourself.
We tend to be our harshest critics, but listing the things you truly admire about yourself will serve as a reminder of how amazing you really are — today, and throughout the rest of the year whenever you need a pick-me-up.
7. Watch A Horror Movie
I know — a scary movie is the antithesis of Valentine’s Day, but I think it’s the perfect way to celebrate the holiday as a single person.
Whether you enjoy classic horror films (think 1980s camp films like Friday The 13th or A Nightmare On Elm Street) or new movies that’ll make your skin crawl, there are plenty of great flicks to choose from.
Our editor-in-chief, Alison Huff, is a particular fan of Jordan Peele’s body of work — including Get Out, Nope, and Us.
Grab some of your favorite snacks and have a horror movie marathon this bloody Valentine’s Day.
If truly scary horror isn’t your thing, What We Do In The Shadows is a brilliant vampire-themed comedy show on FX that is definitely worth a binge-watch.
8. Create Art — With A Twist
Doing something creative is an excellent way to spend Valentine’s Day.
Even if it’s just coloring in an adult coloring book, making art is always a productive way to spend time alone.
But you can also use this time to embrace the emotions you’re feeling.
If you’re angry about being single — don’t be afraid to let that side of yourself out.
Splatter paint all over a canvas, or if you’re good at sewing, make a poppet of your ex and toss it out the window.
(Dammit Dolls are good for this activity, too, if you’re not good with a needle and thread.)
Art can be therapeutic, so whether you’re feeling sad, angry, happy, or somewhere in between, let your freedom of expression run free and create (or do) something meaningful.
9. Rearrange Your Furniture To Something Unexpected
Rearranging your furniture is a fun way to switch up your routine and try out a change of pace if you’re single for Valentine’s Day and looking for something to do.
It also gives you a chance to truly spend time in your home and get to know your space anew.
But you don’t have to adhere to the standard rules of design.
We tend to place all of our furniture along the walls, but the truth is that there are lots of unexpected ways to redo a room’s layout that make it fresh, functional, and most of all — fun.
Play with unexpected furniture pairings or symmetry, for instance.
And don’t be afraid to downsize.
If clutter is wrecking your vibe or your coffee table doesn’t spark joy, cut it out of your life like you would an ex-lover who did you wrong.
10. Call A Loved One
On Valentine’s Day, reach out to a loved one — maybe one that you haven’t spoken to in a while — and have a good catch-up.
If you don’t remember the last time you spoke, it’s been too long.
A call with an old friend or family member will connect you to fond memories and also help you to recognize and appreciate the people who love you most.
11. Go Outside And Celebrate Your Independence
If you’re celebrating your first Valentine’s Day as a single person, take a hike, go on a walk, or ride a bike around town if the weather is nice enough to do so.
Breathing in the fresh air and immersing yourself in nature is great for the body, mind, and soul.
But by doing it alone — and enjoying it — you’re also establishing a sense of peace with your independence as a single person in the world.
You don’t need to be in a relationship to enjoy a walk in nature or the fresh air — and you also don’t have to defer to someone else’s opinion on where to go, either.
The decision is entirely yours.
12. Watch Some Stand-Up Comedy
If you’re facing a solo Valentine’s Day, watch your favorite comedy sketch or the latest stand-up comedy specials.
Laughing is scientifically proven to get you out of a funk and Netflix has TONS of stand-up specials to enjoy.
Some great ones include Iliza Shlesinger’s Elder Millennial, Hasan Minhaj’s The King’s Jester, and Nick Kroll’s Little Big Boy.
13. Do Something Your Ex Couldn’t Stand
Eat your ex’s least favorite foods, watch a movie they hated (but you loved), or do something that would drive your ex crazy — because they’re no longer in your life and now you’re free to enjoy everything you want.
Use your lonely Valentine’s Day as an excuse to remember why you’re better off without them.
Because you are.
14. Dance To Your Favorite Song
Dancing decreases stress and improves mood.
It’s a surefire way to make yourself feel better, so put on your favorite tunes and let your body groove to the music!
If you live in an apartment and can’t blast music, wear your headphones so you can crank it up as loud as you want.
15. Get The Hell Out Of Dodge
You don’t have to stay home on Valentine’s Day.
Instead, take a day trip, explore a new area of town, or even plan your dream vacation.
Leaving the house and going someplace new (or even making plans to) will help you break up your routine and put you in the moment — while giving you something exciting to focus on.
16. Take On A DIY Project
Do-It-Yourself projects are not only fun, but they also make you feel totally awesome once they’re complete.
Transforming a dresser, table, or area in your home will make you feel accomplished and productive on Valentine’s Day.
But you also don’t have to undergo a massive project, either.
Maybe you simply have some new pictures you’ve been meaning to hang or have thought about painting a single wall in your living room a bold color but never seem to “find the time.”
You’re home alone on Valentine’s Day — use the time to tackle something from your to-do list.
17. Explore A New Hobby
If you’re single and spending Valentine’s Day by yourself, why not try your hand at a fun craft that you’ve been curious about?
Going to a pottery class, or even just buying yourself some nice art supplies is a great way to enjoy your singlehood and pick up a new skill at the same time.
18. Deep Clean Your House
Staying productive will help you get over the Valentine’s Day blues if you find yourself without plans.
Deep clean your house or that seems far too big a task, reorganize your junk drawer.
Little accomplishments are just as important as larger ones.
19. Cuddle With An Animal
Interaction with animals has been shown to decrease cortisol levels, which reduces stress and even lowers blood pressure.
Lounging with a warm, furry body is always a great way to spend your time.
If you don’t (or can’t) have pets, you could opt to volunteer your time with a local animal rescue organization — they always need the help.
20. Effect Change From The Outside — In
On Valentine’s Day, why not try changing up your look?
Get a haircut, dye your hair, or even get a tattoo if that sounds like fun.
It feels good to reimagine your physical identity, especially if you’re stuck in a single slump on Valentine’s Day.
But those external changes to your body can have a positive effect on your internal mood — improving your disposition, outlook, and general happiness at the same time.
And, if you’ve got an ex who would absolutely hate that hair color on you — all the more reason to have a little fun with the hair dye today.
Be nice to yourself when spending Valentine’s Day alone as a single, whatever you decide to do.
But most importantly, try not to put too much pressure on yourself to have a really “great” day.
After all, Valentine’s is just a day that’s bound to be filled with ups, downs, and all the things in between.
When it’s all said and done, however, it’s still just a day like any other.
Editor’s Note: This article is part of our ongoing series The Roots Of Loneliness Project, the first-of-its-kind resource that comprehensively explores the phenomenon of loneliness and over 100 types that we might experience over the course of our lives.