[Ali]

Cosmic loneliness is that strange, overwhelming feeling that comes when we realize how small we are in the grand expanse of the universe. It’s not just about being physically alone — it’s that existential ache of wondering whether we truly matter on a cosmic scale.

If you've ever found yourself pondering your place in the universe or feeling disconnected from everything around you, you're not alone in that feeling.

We took a deep dive into this unique form of loneliness, exploring why we sometimes feel so small in the vastness of space and how that can affect our mental and emotional well-being. We also share ways to cope with these thoughts and find meaning in the midst of it all.

Read all about it here: https://www.rootsofloneliness.com/cosmic-loneliness

Have you ever felt that sense of isolation when thinking about the universe or our place in it? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences — let’s discuss how we find meaning in such vast uncertainties.

[Pants]

I definitely wonder what my place is in this universe. Turning 47 soon, my life feels boring from professional to personal life. I don't k ow my purpose at all. I want something new and exciting but I don't know what that is. I feel more and more alone being all my friends are in some kind of relationship and I'm the only single one. It makes me feel pathetic, lost, lonely.

[SummerDay]

I definitely wonder what my place is in this universe. Turning 47 soon, my life feels boring from professional to personal life. I don't k ow my purpose at all. I want something new and exciting but I don't know what that is. I feel more and more alone being all my friends are in some kind of relationship and I'm the only single one. It makes me feel pathetic, lost, lonely.

I get that, completely. Sometimes I've wondered if what I'm going through isn't some type of "midlife" thing (I'm in my early 40s), or just feeling like I'm either not doing as much as I should be, or I'm not doing what I should be. I like my career enough... I'm not miserable at work or anything, but it doesn't "wow" me either.

And part of me wants a relationship with someone, but at the same time, I love my freedom.

I don't think you're "pathetic" for being single at your age though. There are a lot of us out there. And as much as it stings being the “single friend” in the group, I also remind myself that being single is proof that I haven’t settled, that I still believe something exciting could be out there, whether that’s in love, work, or just a new chapter for myself.

I don’t have it all figured out either, but maybe we don’t need to yet. Maybe this is the part of the story where we’re still wandering, and that’s okay. I think "purpose” isn’t always some big lightning bolt moment. Sometimes it’s trying a new hobby, taking a night class on something you've wanted to learn about, or just giving yourself permission to want something different without yet knowing what that is. I don't think we need to have all the answers.

And really, I feel like a lot of people never have them. (FWIW, I feel like a lot of people look like they have it all figured out, when they actually don't...)

[Weighty]

I definitely feel this way -- it's a moderate type of anxiety that comes about mostly on Sunday nights for some reason -- like, I guess as I'm getting ready to start the week, and feeling around in my head for what I accomplished during that week.

It also piggybacks on usually watching a movie or TV show that makes me emotional, or thought-provoking to the extent that I start thinking about my own life -- WTF am I doing wasting a Sunday night watching TV? Why wasn't I out with someone? Why wasn't I TRYING to meet someone?

Why did I "waste" another day of my life? Why is my life slipping away?

I get nervous and anxious, and start feeling a bit lost, and like life is slipping away.

So I definitely get the feeling, I think it's totally normal, and there's nothing "pathetic" about it! It's just your internal sense of self talking to you -- telling you you're lonely, and that you want something different for yourself.

I've found 2 things that make those feelings recede -- first, a great workout always helps. Second, to be actively doing something to move towards what I want in life. When you make progress, you feel good, even if it's just a little bit.

[Ali]

I'm almost 50 and that whole “what’s my place in the universe” question seems to hit hard around this stage of life. Honestly, I think a lot of people feel the same way but don’t actually talk about it, so it’s easy to look at everyone else in relationships or doing "amazing things" like they know what they're doing, but behind the scenes they're just trying to figure it out the same way you are. They feel lost on the inside, or unsure, or they desire things they don't have and purpose they haven't found yet, too. (You just don't see it from the outside.)

Being single doesn’t make you pathetic, though; it makes you free to choose what new and exciting thing you want to chase next without anyone else’s baggage in the way. That could mean trying something you’ve always put off, learning something totally random just because you're curious about it, or even just shaking up your daily routine a little. Purpose doesn’t always show up as one giant life-changing thing. Sometimes it's a series of small ones that arise with "minor" decisions you make along the way.

You’re not lost; you’re in transition. Transitions can feel lonely, but they’re also the space where the next version of yourself starts to take shape.

[SummerDay]

That is a good way to look at it, being in transition, rather than being lost. I like to think that something good (or even better) is just around the corner and I think too, we're kind of always in a period of transition to one degree or another. I think we're supposed to be. Otherwise life would get pretty boring.

[Weighty]

These are all such "weighty (Ha!) topics!

Purpose and meaning are very ambiguous, and can change from day to day for all of us -- depending on the season we are in life, our current goals, or even just something as simple as hearing some news that shakes you to the core -- whether about a loved one, or even current events.

FOMO is also a thing when it comes to existential loneliness -- the feeling of why does it all matter, are you doing enough, do you have enough, are you having enough fun, etc?

It can be overwhelming and crushing at times to take it all in.

But as with all things, when one places equal meaning to everything, we're going to feel overwhelmed because we're not prioritizing what really matters.

If you take a step back and see what's right in front of you, what really matters, then the rest fades away, you become more present, you step outside of yourself, and then you're finally able to calm those inner feelings.