[Wednesday]

I have only a few vague memories and some curt emails as evidence that I had a dad. I tend to avoid all mention of Father’s Day (except maybe in a horror movie context) but I’m feeling weird about it this year. Not sure why. So many of my friends are losing their dads and I feel jealous that they had beloved dads for so long. But then I feel like jealousy is a gross emotion. I dunno.

[Weighty]

I don't think "jealousy" (and I put that in quotes because it can manifest as so many different emotions at times), is inherently "bad" -- it could just point to sadness, loss and unexplained or un-dealt with trauma of loss.

I have cousins who lost their father (my dad's brother) when they were very young -- I remember them telling me a long time ago "you're so lucky that you have a dad..." I was young at the time and didn't know what they meant in the full context as I did later in life when I had spent many beautiful years with dad before he passed.

In that time, he became a surrogate father to some of them, and thought of them as daughters, but I know it wasn't the same for them.

I would never begrudge someone for their feelings, especially when it comes to such a deep and profound feeling of loss or void inside.

[Gin]

I never knew my dad, although I know I have one. Somewhere. I used to get a little jealous of friends who had traditional nuclear families though, with dads that did dad-daughter stuff. So I don’t feel like the emotion is gross. It’s sort of grieving for something you just don’t have but would have wanted, if you could have.

[Ali]

We were never big "father's day/mother's day" people so it's not a holiday I think much about... but I get the jealousy for sure. My dad passed 10 years ago (how has it been that long???).